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Create variety
Write a
list of every sex act you and your partner are prepared to partake in. Cut the
list into pieces and place all the items in a jar. In a separate jar, drop in
the names of every room in your home, plus all the surfaces you can comfortably
fit on (tables, chairs, washing machine, etc). Then take turns picking out a 'token
of love' from each jar to create endless variation in your lovelife. Demonstrate
that you can create your own pleasure
For her, let
him stumble upon you taking care of your own pleasure. He'll be stunned and intrigued
to discover you lying back and pleasuring yourself for a change. Don't make eye
contact with him (your aim is to demonstrate that you're getting on just fine
on your own, thank you), just concentrate on writhing and moaning shamelessly.
Once he gets over his shock at being left out in the cold, he'll be bursting to
jump in and show you just how indispensable he is Go
on a blind date… with your long-term partner
Arrange to meet up
with your lover in a public place or a bar and pretend you're meeting for the
first time. In the excitement of your 'first date' banter you'll rediscover the
qualities you found so attractive in each other way back when. And later in the
night, feel like a young thing again without the teenage angst: have sex in the
woods, in your car or fumble in the movies. Make
a sexy home movie
You don't need a top-of-the-range camera, but you
may need to do some screen tests for yourself first, to encourage you to relax
and perform to the camera. Practice alone, then show him or her your screen tests
to guarantee involvement in the follow-up. Write
an erotic short story
This is a great way of opening communication about
what you want, but find difficult to ask for. By separating yourself from the
author of the story, you'll find it easier to express your deepest desires and
show your lover just how erotic you're capable of being. Better still, write the
story together. Take turns to add a paragraph each, developing each other's storylines.
If it's hard to get started, try reading a collection of fantasies together first;
Sweet
Life: erotic fantasies for couples is one of the world's current best-sellers,
while Nancy
Friday's My Secret Garden is a classic collection of women's sexual fantasies. Act
out of character
If you usually greet each other with a peck on the
lips, slip your tongue into his or her mouth for a change. Small gestures have
the power to change the entire tone of the night ahead Use
prompts
And if you find it really hard to think of ideas that will please
your partner, why not use prompts? Packs such as 52
Weeks of Naughty Nights and 52
Weeks of Romance take off the pressure of coming up with the ideas, but allow
you and your partner to indulge in the pleasure of time together. Each pack offers
52 scratch-it cards, with ideas for both him and her to read and do. Make one
night every week the occasion for one of you to scratch a card and do what it
says. From 52
Weeks of Naughty Nights comes the suggestions: For
him: act the sex slave for the night - present yourself
graciously to your lover and inform her that she may ask and do with you as she
wishes. For her: claim
a sensual IOU. Choose from:
- oral pleasure
- bubble
bath for two
- manual pleasure
- a
sexual pleasure of your choice.
Or add adventure,
surprise and seduction with ideas from 52
Weeks of Romance: For her:
write 3 reasons why you love him on three separate pieces of paper and place them
where they will least expect it - briefcase, gym bag, coffee jar. For
him: plan a moonlit picnic complete with candles, champagne
and a few romantic nibblies. Be sure to bring an extra large blanket so that the
two of you can snuggle up together.
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