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We human beings are able to make love more frequently and
more sensuously than perhaps any other animal. Yet we are often disappointed after
lovemaking. Why? Because most of us are like owners of a precious Stradivarius
violin that we have never learned to play.
Jolan Chang "The Tao of
the Loving Couple" Since ancient civilisation, self-loving
(autoeroticism) has been practiced as a natural and elegant way of honoring the
gift of a body and communing with one's inner divinity. Even today, sex therapists
extol the benefits of self-loving as a vital tool for self-knowledge and relationship
enhancement. Sexual satisfaction with a lover is attained by first becoming a
sexual virtuoso with yourself. We present here the many sensible
reasons why you should spend precious time and energy on what may appear to be
frivolous, threatening, wickedly self-indulgent pleasures:
1.
Self-pleasuring is the single most important thing you can do to become a truly
great lover
You learn: what most turns you on, what makes you feel less
inhibited, what feels good, how long you like to be stimulated, how sensitive
your sexual bits are, the best way for you to reach orgasm etc. 2.
Self-pleasuring makes you feel sexy
Thinking about sex makes you feel
sexy; preparing to have sex makes you feel sexy; knowing and appreciating your
body makes you feel sexy. The more pleasure you get the more you want. The more
you learn to enjoy, the more you can handle. 3.
Self-pleasuring puts you in touch with your body
Most of the time, we
ignore our bodies. A luxurious session of self-play can help you focus attention
on the sensations of your skin, muscles and erogenous zones. You can reclaim the
joy of being alive and having a body that was made for pleasure. 4.
Self-pleasuring strengthens and increases the flexibility of your love muscle
Having
strong and flexible pelvic muscles is crucial to great sex. In women, the pubococcygeus
muscle is the main love muscle - it's the one that contracts during orgasm. Conversely,
the increased blood supply and toning contractions of orgasm vitalize the muscle.
You can exercise these muscles during self-pleasuring. 5.
Self-pleasuring teaches you how to have orgasms - easily and quickly
Many
women have never had an orgasm with or without a partner. Some are not sure if
they have or not. The truth is once you learn how and where your body needs to
be stimulated to have an orgasm, you can be in charge and have them any time you
want. You can try out all kinds of fun things in complete privacy.
6. Self-pleasuring puts you in control of your own pleasure
When
you know your own body and its sexual responses you can control whether, when
and how to have your orgasm - with or without a partner.
7. Self-pleasuring leads to self-confidence in all areas
of life
When you know how to turn yourself on and realise that you can
do so anytime without depending on anyone else, you will gain a tremendous sense
of self-control and self-confidence. This surety in yourself spreads to other
areas of your life.
You can become an asset to the rest of the world when
you're happy, strong and fulfilled. And you know it !!! 8.
Self-pleasuring is the key to overcoming sexual guilt and self-repression
Our
bodies love to be stroked and caressed. They thrive on it. If deprived of physical
affection they can become ill. Finding out that self-pleasuring is a natural and
beautiful function, something that makes you feel good about yourself and more
loving to those around you, frees you of all that guilt you may be carrying around.
You
will be able to express your sexuality and your true self more freely - and with
your lucky lover. You can start enjoying sex more and regretting it less. 9.
Self-pleasuring promotes health, well-being and energy
Your sex muscles
are not isolated. Healthy well-toned pelvic muscles lead to healthy well-toned
stomach and leg muscles etc. as well as increased flow of blood and energy. It
boosts your energy production and releases endorphins which create a sense of
well-being. So for a quick mental and physical pick-me-up that will also build
longer-term health - indulge in your favourite form of self-play. 10.
Self-pleasuring reduces stress and tension
The intense muscular and
emotional release of self-induced orgasm provides a tonic for anxiety, tense muscles,
job stress (but be careful doing it at the office!!) or just general frustration.
Stress and tension restrict the flow of blood and energy through your body and
cause blocks to creativity, good health and joyful living. Self-pleasuring can
soothe and release these tensions with the simple touch of a finger!! It can also
help you to sleep. 11. Self-pleasuring
enhances lovemaking with your lover
If you're hot, you can't help but
light your lover's fire! You can bring new vigour to your partner's body and imagination.
You can be much more creative as a lover and can teach your lover all sorts of
sizzling new sex tricks. If you've learnt to be more deeply intimate with yourself,
you can be more intimate with your partner. 12.
In the age of HIV/AIDS, self-pleasuring is the ultimate in safe sex
Obviously,
when you have sex only with yourself, you are in no danger of catching a sexually
transmitted infection from someone else. But even with a partner, self-pleasuring
or mutual masturbation with and for each other can be a delightful way to stay
safe. Using your hands, vibrators, dildos and even playful fruit, allows you to
exchange a lot of loving and fun sexual energy without exchanging body fluids. 13.
The joy of self-pleasuring is always available
Morning,
evening, between times, while travelling, at the beach, on a plane, when your
partner's sleeping or away, between lovers, after a divorce, when you're lonely
- you can always pleasure yourself.
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